#201 Super Arabian

Super Arabian is a game where you are a sworded Persian Prince who runs around various backgrounds collecting bags of money whilst avoiding birds. You are no doubt a good prince because every time you die a halo appears over your head instead of being smushed and sucked down into hell like Mario. I'm guessing this is some sort of future game because why else would a bird barely touching you kill you. This is just some video game programmer trying to hype up the whole avain flu crap that the scientists are labelling as the number one world health concern. I guess that's tied with AIDS, starvation, and obesity.

And how might you defend yourself against these birds? Obviously with your sword, what? No? Oh, you kick them. That's right you kick them. Cause how else are you going to kill a bird when armed with just a sword? The cool thing is that if you kick a bird its corpse becomes a deadly weapon as it goes flying across the screen like a rootbeer float delivered to George McFly in a 1950esque diner. The initial kick scores you a mere 100 points but with each vermridden bird it crashes into it adds 500 points. So you got that going for you too.

The sword is only used to triumphantly praise God in all his glory for helping you find the money. You must at that time jump towards the heavens and extend your sword to God with thanks. I'm guessing the whole antisword use is kind of like a 28 days later thing where you don't want any excess blood because if it gets into your eye you become a zombie or at least are infected with instant death bird flu.

Thus far I have only made it to level 3 which requires a lot of jumping on carpets going in opposing directions with a never ending supply of deadly birds appearing out of nowhere. On my most recent attempt I discovered that the bags of money all have different letters on them and if you manage to spell the right word by collecting the money bags in te right order you stand to gain a substantially higher sum of money. Or maybe the videogame programmer is like a huge Hitchcock fan and the birds truly do terrify him and he thought that this feeling was universal. But the not using your sword thing? That's like saving your hammer brother suit the whole damn game and not remembering to activate the suit until after Bowser has been tricked into falling into the hole he created. What the hell is that?